I’m making one of my staple dinners:  chicken with broccoli and red potatos.  stupidly boring, but easy enough to make.  I’m using some “roasting wrap” that I found here in my gramma’s kitchen.  it’s plastic and foil and the box looks like it’s from the sixties at the latest.  it totally looks like it ought to melt, but so far so good.

I think I graded derik zoolander’s career report paper today.  the author made mention of utilizing the talent of being really good-looking.  it’s an honors class and I sincerely hope it was tongue in (ass)cheek.  all honors class means to me is that they are only moderately retarded and I merely pull my hair out as opposed to pulling my hair out and setting myself on fire.

I’m taking a break from grammaticly correct thinking.  please excuse me.

I’m so fucking tired.  I’m trying to work from home on top of doing what I normally do.  frankly, it doesn’t work.  I just end up doing my shit after the kids go to bed, so I’m up till midnight.  last night the baby had an earache, so I was up at 3.  reading these papers becomes SURREAL on no sleep.  we’re talking maybe one hundred nearly identical papers.  some of these kids’ papers are so off that there’s really no way to correct them.

this is the view from the front room…

this is babyjane in the kitchen slash family room…

this is my daughter the chamelion.  the pink is so pink that when you walk away, the rest of the world looks black and white.  maybe it’ll be good therapy.

the view from my new bedroom.

Timbly says I’ve waited too long to update… 

you know that old fifties phrase the old ball and chain?
so if you’re talking about a man would it be the old balls and chain?
’cause well, you know.

it snowed last night in the mountains and I am SO glad I didn’t take the spring weather to heart and have my snow tires removed before the deadline.  I have the deadline right there on my calendar, march 31, studs off!  of course I stopped short of writing GET studs off, because it is my grandmother’s house and that’s just asking for trouble.

I have tickets to see one of my favorite bands!  I never get to see them because they’ve always been playing on weekends when I’ve seen they have a show.  now I just get to decide who to drag with me.

I test drove a fancy bra the other day.  I had bought it a year or so ago for something and never wore it…  it’s a bustier-type.  so anyway, I was wondering if it would work for wearing under something I wanted to wear to this show.  the problem is that it might start to bug me after a while.  so I wore it under my regular clothes to check.  I wore it to my new job at the high school.  at least two people were staring at my boobs.  while I really don’t mind that, I think I’ll relegate it to low-light weekend wear from now on.

new job, work from home…  I get to go to school to pick up work then do it here.  yeah baby, even I want to be me.  unfortunately it’s just a part time contract job and only lasts till june.  foot in the door, I say, foot in the door.

in a world made up entirely of illusion
absolutely everything is a metaphor
but for what?
…and does that matter?  

You are most like

You are likely to be quiet, and gentle, enjoying helping other people grow and realize their potential. Others may view you as mystical. Time alone is important and solitary activities refresh you. You have a tendency to introspection. While providing compassion and being considerate, you may have the tendency of being soft-hearted or even “too emotional” You try to schedule your life as much as possible. You tend to finish your work before resting.

The Orcs display the evil side of this personality with their lengthy torture methods.

Traits: Empathic, benevolent, looking to the future. On the dark side you could be sadistic.

Doesn’t seem quite like you? Take it again!

Note: The results of this test are based upon the
books’ characters, not the movie.

last night we had scotty over.  scotty just has to be the neetest kid ever (that I didn’t birth).  we’ve known scotty since dylan’s first soccer team long ago.  he’s wittiest kid, dry even.  he treats me like a normal person, as opposed to how most kids treat grownups.  I could just eat him up.

anyway, he and dylan are off golfing at the moment.

they had to make their own pancakes this morning because just as I was dropping the batter onto the griddle, em started yelling…  the baby was barfing.  I discerned from “the evidence” that she and her sister had scarfed some illicit candy (dots) left over from movie night last night.  I don’t think they’ll ever sneak candy for breakfast again.  well, not for a few days, anyway.

I spent some time on the internet finding out that this metallic taste I’ve had in my mouth for days now (which just keeps getting worse) is likely the result of taking ibuprofen.  oddly enough, it’s neurological in origin.  weird.  

I had thought I was being so healthy taking drugs for pain… normally I just wait for the pain to go away.  I wouldn’t take anything unless it was just horrible.  turns out my first way of doing things may have been the right way.  bleah, everything tastes like tinfoil, even water.  in fact, the AIR even tastes bad.  you’d think that would help me stay away from food, wouldn’t you.  nope, I just have to keep trying.

these m&m’s taste like nickels.

    and…

foo-foo post alert…

TOP HOLLYWOOD BOYFRIENDS OF THE DAY:

  the luscious steve burns…mmmmm.

  jet li
nnnnnnnggggg…mmmmmmmm…!!!!!

  mike meyers

  john goodman   giovanni

  …these two

and

  ewan macgregor.

that’ll do for a start.

mama’s always on stage
by arrested development

Brand new mama, I understand
It’s hard as hell being a young mother and
you need support your conscience told you not to abort
so to your child you’re a hero of some sort
But, hey, the worst is over
You’re ready to do this
I got faith and your baby renewed this
faith that everything will be fine
Now an adult, no more youth time
[Anytime you need help sister]
We’ll be there just give us a ring
We will help you raise that king
Word to the mother cause it’s a black thing
I respect you in a strong way
Super late nights cause your baby slept all day
but mama don’t sleep, your life’s a turning page

[Chorus:]
Mama’s always on stage (4x)

Hey, let me guess, you’re bored
Wanna get loose, attack the dance floor
Cool, I’ll hold her, you have a good time
I’ll keep your baby awake so baby sleeps half the night
This is reality, we need to turn our minds
Brothers talking revolution but leave their babies behind
Well sister, he’s a sucker, just leave’em be
The revolution is now up to brothers like me
to step in cause your man stepped out
[The goal:] To raise the children, no doubt
so let’s go to it and possibly
bring a generation of nat’s in the future, see
I respect you in a strong way
Super late nights cause your baby slept all day
But mama don’t sleep, your life’s a turning page
Mama’s always on stage
Keep up your strength now cause we must grow somehow

[Chorus:]
Mama’s always on stage (4x)
Can’t get a revolution without women
Can’t get a revolution without children

I improved throughout my life
all of this just to soothe a wife
brothers wear your black clothes
talk your 5% talk
Words of wisdom should be ways of wisdom
That’s exactly how you must walk
Life’s too short, your mission’s too dire
Nurture another mind before yours expires
Pass it on, push it along
Like the brother said it in that one song
We respect you all the way
Late, late nights cause your baby slept all day
but mama’s got to stay strong, carry it on
Hey, mama’s on stage

[Chorus:]
Mama’s always on stage

keep up your strength now ’cause we must grow somehow
baby, mama is always on stage

—–Original Message—–
From: satori [mailto:satoristar@nwi.net]
Sent: Sun 3/14/2004 5:51 PM
To: STANDERFORD, DAVID
Cc:
Subject: .

I see you put in 250 in addition to the food money.  I also need 250 more.
—– Original Message —–
From: “satori” <satoristar@nwi.net>
To: “David Standerford” <standerford@hotmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, March 13, 2004 12:24 PM
Subject: Re: Re:


> fine.
> can you please transfer $500 into my account?
> —– Original Message —–
> From: “David Standerford” <standerford@hotmail.com>
> To: <satoristar@nwi.net>
> Sent: Saturday, March 13, 2004 8:36 AM
> Subject: Re:
>
>
> >
> > I will meet you at 4 on Sunday at Burger King.
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________

I don’t ever want to see any hernia pictures ever ever again.
oh.  my.

so, the stages of grief/loss are:

1. denial
2. bargaining
3. anger
4. despair
5. acceptance
6. slim-fast and tight pants

I don’t think I want to write protected as much anymore.  I’ve been doing it because I knew my stbfex was reading.  I was fretting that he might use something I said flippantly as ammo against me, possibly in a custody hearing.  also, I just plain didn’t want him reading my thoughts.

currently it occurs to me that if he’s still reading, that’s HIS problem.  I’m going to assume that he’s enough of a grownup to have stopped and if that’s not the case, all the worse for him.  not my problem.

I’ve always been one to land on my feet, no matter how I ended up in midair.  that’s not going to change.

go, and never darken my towels again!
…groucho marx

I went to the movies (and dinner) with my mother and her man.  secret window.  it was good, but I had it figured in the first fifteen minutes.  sometimes I find that annoying.  it was okay this time given that fact that it was stephen king and I realized I might be clinging to a red herrring.  good cinematography/mood, I thought.

quote me as saying I was misquoted…

  …off to bed.