no matter what I do I cannot seem to get over this movie. I don’t know if it’s my favorite; I have lots of favorites, so many. but really, this one grounds me, and gets me excited– all at the same time. Stranger Than Fiction is a close second but I don’t think I could watch it interminably like I think I would with Huckabees.

I hate to say this, but I think if you don’t like this movie you won’t “get” me… heh heh, in more ways than one it turns out. my last date– he made dinner, in courses, while I was there. I hadn’t really eaten that day (work) and he kept refilling my wine constantly so I was never really sure how much I drank. he started with an app around 8 and then salad, and dinner didn’t get consumed till after ten. I’m thinking I was pretty toasty but I didn’t realize it. I brought Huckabees over so we started watching it. about three fourths of the way through I thought, “I gotta go; I gotta get outa here.” and I did. and I never went back.

here’s the crass part– you know what? if I’m watching one of my movies (and by MY movies I mean one close to my heart) with a guy and I don’t want to fuck him? it’s not ever going to happen. it’s just not. I tried to not be a dick about it but it really was just the death blow to something that I knew inside never had a chance. I’d rather be alone than somewhere that doesn’t feel right.

and now this is stuck in my head:

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

obviously it would be the children, but they’re off with their dad. then it would be the cat. I adore her. she bites me. she glares at me. and I adore her some more. but of all my material things it would be Brownie, my stuffed dog. I got him when I was two. I even promised him that if the house was ever burning down that I would save him. he lives in my nightstand and when things get really bad I haul him into bed with me. Brownie makes things better.

I read book seven until 4am and put it down cos I needed to get some sleep. I got up around 8 and we left the house at nine to pick up coffee before the special showing of The Order of the Phoenix at ten. my mom’s friends’ firm had sponsored a special showing for their clients and we got there early to get seats together.

we were given tickets for a soda and popcorn and another ticket for a drawing. before the movie started they told us that they’d gone to the midnight deal at Hastings and had procured two books for the prizes. my ticket said 336 and Jane’s said 335. I thought my number was pretty good as 339 is a recurring number for me.

well, they mixed up the matching ticks in a basket and drew one. 336. wow. I haven’t won anything since I was 14. I was shocked. then they did the drawing for the other book: 335. WOW. what are the odds? Jane was thrilled. we both were kind of awed. it was a wonderful feeling I don’t remember having before, sitting there watching the movie with that book in my lap. it was a new feeling, running my fingers over the dustjacket. I can’t really describe it, but it felt lovely, like maybe life loves us after all.

and I was third in line.

by a fluke.

there were hundreds of people in line at the chain bookstore. apparently there had been for hours. no one knew they’d be selling them at the in-store espresso counter as well. good thing I was thirsty.

yup, me too…

(I ADORE Simon Pegg)

nataliedee.com

I can only give you love that lasts forever
And a promise to be near each time you call,
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone,
That’s all, that’s all.

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall,
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night,
That’s all, that’s all.

There are those, I am sure, that have told you
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you
————————————
And a love time can never destroy
————————————-

If you’re wondering what I’m asking in return, dear,
You’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore
For now and ever more,
That’s all, that’s all.

WOOOOAH. it’s been going on for the better part of two weeks now. yes, there have been stones in the road that spectacularly took me down, but I’m just graceful like that. and bumbles bounce. still, even though there are times when I think, “uh oh, I’m down– will I come back up?” I do. !!

and why? it’s work. not hard work, sweat of your brow, industry– but going to work, having lovely interactions with my clients, doing something creative. I’ve been coming home happy, even if I haven’t left home happy. I’m not dreading going in anymore, and I had been.

I did my sister’s wedding hair. it was hot-rollered and put in a french twist with just a few curls spilling out along the crease. and she asked me to CUT HER BANGS… the horror. but they were PERFECT and it was all beautiful! the bangs NEVER MOVED (sideswept longish fringe). all through the evening I kept looking at her hair thinking, “that’s gorgeous; I did that!”

(eventually someone will send me some pics that I can post…)

HEY! this is what I did in Soho too! we also stopped at Matty’s friend’s bakery and bought a bunch of tarts. there was a box wrapped in string. I felt very chic.

oh, and I bought knockoff dolce and gabbanas.

I forgot to take my camera. these pics are from my phone. ::rolls eyes::

lobby at the W Hotel at Union Square

my son and Kim– my sister’s best friend from high school. I’ve known her since she was five. she was our next-door neighbor. her brother introduced me to the fex. he wasn’t my fex at the time. that would’ve been some trick.

the Park Avenue side of the W lobby– Union Square on the left

I need a nap.