with thanks to pathetic wretch for the subject:

11. The Fifth Element
Leeloo: Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, multipass, she knows it’s a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: We’re newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen…
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yes, she knows it’s a multipass. Anyway, we’re in love.

10. An Affair to Remember
Terry McKay: Oh, it’s nobody’s fault but my own! I was looking up… it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there…

9. Bull Durham
[Mechanized bull noises in background]
Crash Davis: Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn’t he?
[laughs]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [softly, infuriated] I held it like an egg.
Crash Davis: Yeah, and he scrambled the son of a bitch. Look at that, he hit the fucking bull! Guy gets a free steak!
[laughs]
Crash Davis: You having fun yet?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: Oh, yeah. Havin’ a blast.
Crash Davis: Good.
[pause]
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, that sucker teed off on that like he knew I was gonna throw a fastball!
Crash Davis: He did know.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: How?
Crash Davis: I told him.

8. Stranger Than Fiction
Ana Pascal: [Hurt and annoyed that Harold refuses to just take the cookies and has offered to buy them] Go home Harold.
Harold Crick: Okay.
[starts for the door and realizes he's dissappointed her]
Harold Crick: Did- You made those cookies for me, didn’t you.
[She looks at him sadly]
Harold Crick: You were just trying to be nice, and I blew it.
[reaches into his briefcase and retrieves the little black book where he's tracking his comedy vs tragedy tallies, and there are a lot of marks under tragedy. Sadly]
Harold Crick: This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I’m in a tragedy.

7. Auntie Mame
Vera Charles: If you kept your hair natural like I do…
Auntie Mame: If I kept my hair natural like yours, I’d be bald.

6. I Heart Huckabees
Tommy Corn: Ah, here he comes!
Albert Markovski: Oh, boy.
Tommy Corn: The man-poet who banged France’s dark lady of philosophy. The parking lot crusader of truth… who turned his back on his other like a cold-blooded gangsta.
…
Tommy Corn: [Albert and Tommy sitting on marsh rock] What are you doing tomorrow?
Albert Markovski: I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come?
Tommy Corn: What time?
Albert Markovski: Mm, one, one-thirty.
Tommy Corn: Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains?
Albert Markovski: We always do.
[Scene goes blurry. Tommy hits Albert in the face with the big orange ball and then hits himself in the face with it]

5. So I Married an Axe Murderer
Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy’s heed.
Tony Giardino: Shhh!
Stuart Mackenzie: I’m not kidding, it’s like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you’re going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that’s a huge noggin. That’s a virtual planetoid.
Tony Giardino: Shh!
Stuart Mackenzie: Has it’s own weather system.
Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: HEAD! MOVE!
Stuart Mackenzie: I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offsides, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

4. The Philadelphia Story
that scene at the beginning where Tracy is throwing out C.K. Dexter Haven (or he’s leaving)– she breaks his golf club over her knee, he cocks his fist, hesitates, then puts his hand over her face and pushes her back through the door.

3. Unleashed

Victoria: My selection tonight is dedicated to someone wonderful.
Danny: [whispering to Sam] That’s you.
Sam: Oh no, no, no, it’s not me she’s talking about.
Victoria: Someone whose life was, quite literally, saved by music.
Sam: That’s you, my boy.

2. Harvey
Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

1. Casablanca

when I think about who I want to be I always remember this scene– this is who I want to be…

Annie Savoy: Oh, where are you going?
Crash Davis: After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don’t try out. Besides, uh, I don’t believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
Annie Savoy: What do you believe in, then?
Crash Davis: Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

WHERE’S MY PONY?

Dyl: I need dad to help me with some tennis training… and I need him to hook me up with a physical…
PAAAAAAAUSE
Dyl: not from him– from a doctor.

“Oh HELL no! I did not leave the south-side for THIS!”

sorry. false alarm. nothing noteworthy, I was just going back through the pages and making stuff public that I no longer care if people see. I don’t know why. I was perusing and just thought, meh, that’s not so bad. so I guess they appeared as updated on the sub list. bleah.

I’m going to go watch Milla and the zombies now.

I think this bears repeating… mostly cos I just want to see it on my page again.

“Happiness comes in small doses, folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie, or a 5-second orgasm. You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work.”