Month: April 2008

  • no more schadenfreude

    I’d rather think about nice, bubbly, magical things
    like John Legend
    Let’s go to the park
    puppehs and kittehs
    and a wonderfulwonderful man
    who sings to me
    and makes my heart go pitty-pat
    *sigh*

  • crap email from a psycho

    almost a year ago I split up with a friend. she kept emailing me. even though I asked for space. I thought: someone who can’t respect the need I have for space, even for a short while, is not someone I want in my life. no ire. plain and simple.

    this morning I got an email from her (got one last week too) that makes it entirely clear that she’s been totally twisting about me the whole, goldurned time, attributing motives and plots to me that have never even entered my head. I’m too busy thinking about rainbows and chicken pot pies.

    but it looks as tho she may be preparing to “mess with me”, which is a REAAAALLY bad idea. if this continues I will fucking BURN HER DOWN. and it won’t be because she’s a threat; she’s not that powerful. it will just be: bogey at 4 o’clock! *BOOM* done. what’s for dinner?

    stupid, STUPID, little psycho bitch. someone just told me last night how this gal had lost 50 pounds this year and they were totally jealous. all I have to say about that is this– she’s still ugly on the inside.

  • I NEEDED THAT!

    Blackadder– he’s good for what ails you:

    “however, I am a busy man and I can’t be bothered to punch you at the moment. here is my fist: kindly run towards it as fast as you can. [Baldrick complies]“

    “your head is as empty as a eunoch’s underpants.”

  • first lolcat to make me lol in months…

    Humorous Pictures
    see more crazy cat pics

  • the telemarketer

    at the end of his spiel, the one where he called me “Lisa, er Lara,” I stopped him and said “thank you, but I’m not interested. I’d like to give you a piece of unsolicited advice, tho, and I really mean to be helpful: I’m a middle-aged woman and I hate being called ma’am. it reminds me that I’m old. most of my middle-aged friends hate it too. just something to consider.” him: nothing. me: bye!

    I’m a dick, but I felt like saying it. I should probably just hang up in the first place but it feels so rude.

  • Lara’s rules #2

    there is no one way to see anything.
    it’s hubris to think we see anything but through a glass darkly.
    but Hubris Can Be Funny
    “A joke exists in which three blind elephants argue what a man looks like. The first one feels the man with his leg, and says that the man is flat. The other elephants touch the man as well, and agree.” *

    *Blind Men and an Elephant