March 6, 2006
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decent birthday. major weirdness.
among other things:
my sister told me I’m not in her wedding.
cos, well, she’s going with all ‘maids’ rather than matrons in her bridal party…
er, tho she knows I’m single too…
er…
no I get it, I say.
and what I didn’t say was, I thought you were a better person than that.
and that’s sad.
BUT I talked it out with Elsa and all that sad’s gone. I’m sane
and a good person and my kids will be too. it’s sad that not
everyone else chooses to be.I’m off to stick a candle in a jell-o cup
but not in a self-pitying way…
in a ‘dammit, I deserve a great wish’ way.
Comments (22)
i admit to being totally non-comprehensional about your sister’s excuse. it’s so dumb it doesn’t even make any sense. and i’m sorry she hurt you with it.
much birthday love to you.
Hope you get your wish
well she said she was going “traditional” “all maids.” likely what she meant was all young thin people.
yeah, because young, thin people are soo traditional. Your sister is no spring chicken herself.
Whatever her reasoning, I would feel better about it if she was just straight up with it about you. For instance, if I were to get married tomorrow (which you know, is totally plausable)–I’m not entirely sure I’d choose my sisters to be in the wedding. Why? Because I don’t want a huge bridal party–so I’d either choose a few good friends (you’d be on that list) and assign my sisters to some other duty OR just have my two sisters and that’s it. But I’d totally be upfront with them why I didn’t have them–that I wanted a smaller bridal party and adding them would make it bigger than I’d want..blah blah blah.
But there’s two of them and one of you and she gave some silly excuse And she seems to be missing the point of having a bridal party in the first place–it’s not to have people in your wedding, but to share the experience with people you care most about. Few people really want to be in weddings–but feel a part of a wedding, yes.
Whatever. I’m just mad at her.
I hope you enjoyed that jello cup!
I did! thanks!
Well, I don’t have sisters, but I was in my sister in law’s bridal party (ie, bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding).. so if I were to get married, and if (gosh, that’s a huge if) I were doing it in a traditional kind of way (as opposed to on top of some mountain in South America, or similar) then I would absolutely ask her to be in my bridal party. I think your sister’s being pretty cold. But on the bright side: you aren’t going to have to wear some godawful frock
You absolutely deserve a beautiful wish – hope they all come true
thanks…
my sister was my maid of honer, btw, and sang at my wedding.
I’m sorry your sister hurt you.
Is the wedding in Cali? Call me if ya like and Ill meet you somewhere.
but I think the thing that bothers me most is that she didn’t need to tell me on my birthday.
thanks Ce, it’s a big expensive nyc wedding.
That definitely changes things
That’s just wrong.
My cousin and I were like twins growing up.. and she’s always telling people how she’s my best friend (!) but when it came down to it, she asked two girls she’s known for.. what, three? Four years? to be her bridesmaids. And kept telling people how she was my best friend. Which: huh?
To my delight (and not a few others’), though, the two bridesmaids were utterly charmless, smoked their way through the photographs (nobody in my family, my cousin’s family, or the groom’s family, smoke, except my cousin), and at the reception sat by themselves sulking because the rest of us were in the pub watching the rugby league. One was overheard to say, “I thought there were meant to be loads of guys who’d want to shag us?” to the horror of every guy in our group. My brother bought them a bottle of Baileys to shut them up, and the rest of us had a fabulous night
So my prediction is that you will go, you will look fantastic, and loads of people will come up to you and say, “I can’t believe she didn’t ask her own sister to be her bridesmaid – what is wrong with her?!”
It only reflects badly on her, not you
I recently read a blog where the girl had been asked to be in someone’s wedding…and thereafter all of the brides maids were informed that the needed to lose weight before the wedding. And were also expected to all chip in to cover the couple’s honeymoon.
My point? Brides are stupid and insane. And we’re all going to pretend THAT is the real reason I’m never going to become one, instead of all the other reasons.
I think your sister is a shallow cunt.
and I think you’re SO much better than her, for many reasons. mostly because you’re NOT a shallow cunt. but for other reasons, too. and really, I don’t think she is, I know she is.
my brother, he’s always treated me like I’m the crazy fat gimp that should be locked away in the basement and never spoken about. saddest thing? when he’s around mother buys into that, too. At least I’m adopted, I wish you could say the same. It helps.
I thought about you several times yesterday, I hope your wonderful wish comes true!
yeah. i mean, it’s not that i don’t get what she’s getting at, rather i don’t get why she’d come up with such an idiotic story, and feed it to you as though it weren’t so mean. i guess i just assumed things about your relationship, and about her; you always make a big deal out of her career and her performances and everything, and that kind of coldness shocks me. naivete that comes from having family that feel like friends, i guess. and i am sorry. becuase that just sucks.
SHE TOLD YOU ON YOUR DAY!!?? Ok.. my view is different and i will hold my tongue. Bah!
Couldve been fun.
I guess all you can do now is accept it and show up looking as fabulous as
I know you can with a huge grin ready to charm everyone. Stay a few days longer to enjoy NYC.
Too bad it isnt here.
OH well, next time.
And all of my comments can be summed up now that I realise she actually told you ON your birthday with one little word: it rhymes with *cough*b*cough* ITCH.
*Sends hugs*
Happy Birthday anyways!
I think her excuse is rather weird.
Happy Birthday –
Weddings always manage to cause friction, at least it seems so to me. The excuse seems a little flimsy, though – I mean – I’ve NEVER seen in a wedding program the words (bridesmatron) – have you? All the ones I’ve been to and in have had a mix.
Anyway, at least you don’t have to buy a gigantic dress you’ll never wear again…..?
That sucks that your sister isn’t going to have you in her wedding. Majorly!
Happy Belated Birthday sweetie, you deserve all your wishes to come true.
maids, schmaids!
who the heck is a virgin nowadays?
Man, that is rough. I’m sorry you sister did that to you! A friend asked me to be her maid of honor once, and then she renegged on it so her future sister-in-law could be the her maid of honor. She insisted that she still wanted me in the wedding, and then I never heard from her until I received a wedding invitation in the mail about a month before her wedding date. Oh well.
Happy Birthday, btw. Mine was on the 4th. Is yours the 5th?
You absolutely deserve a wonderful wish! Belated Hapy Birthday!
On a side note…Lil’ Dude’s godmother was my maid of honor, when it was her turn she had 7 bridesmaids/matrons (including one chick that she didn’t even like that much and who looked ridiculous in the tiny form fitting dress) and even had to fill in a space when one gal couldn’t make it…was yours truly even considered?
No, but I was there for her everytime she had a fight with her mother about how it should go, I was there to advise and even help out the day of the wedding…
I’ve since been able to chalk it up to her loss…
As for your sister, it’s her loss in a big, big way.
((((((((((HUGS!))))))))))
-M