July 30, 2006
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Say, say, oh playmate
come out and play with me
and bring your dollies three
climb up my apple tree
slide down my rain barrel
into my cellar door
and we’ll be jolly friends
forevermoreSay, say, oh playmate
I cannot play with you
my dollies have the flu
the mumps and measles too
I have no rainbarrel
I’ve got no cellar door
but we’ll be jolly friends
forevermore, more, shut the doorWhen someone pushes you away, do you go? I do. But why? Maybe it’s mixed up in rejection fears. I’d like to think it’s a healthy response to passive-aggressive ambivalence. What if someone tells you hurtful things? You can’t know what the motivation is. Are they trying to see how much you can take? Are they trying to push you away so that you reject them without them having to take responsibility, projecting the rejection onto you? Are they a puer aeternus with no intentions whatsoever, mindless of their impact?
What do you do? I really want to know.
Comments (11)
I would have to say it depends on the circumstances. If they were a really good friend who simply wanted to be left alone for a while, no.
Hurtful things? It depends.
thanks Cee. the input helps a lot.
I don’t keep friends that are hurtful, but I used to do it. in general I don’t tell that many people the things that can hurt me. there are a few friends, I wish I could get back, even after they’ve pushed me away, though. I’d do almost anything, and I wish I didn’t feel that way, frankly.
I’m not good with the whole friend thing (that’s why I keep rache around, she’s such a dimwit she never knows when I’m actually insulting her)
I generally hold on too long. If people push me away, I tend to stay around the fringe, make an attempt…see if they’re serious or if it’s just a defense mechanism. I stick around because I know I have a tendency to push people away that I don’t really want to leave.
kim, in her dullard way, is kinda right – i don’t always know when i’m really being insulted, and i tend to take most things personally and then lash out instictively. which just makes everything worse. i can’t always tell when i’m being left behind, either, until the other person makes it really clear – and not necessarily kindly. then i lash out even more. which just makes everything worse. i’m an escalator. call me otis.
i usually give them a second chance or a subtle lifeline lying somewhere they can stumble upon later in time of need.
thing is too, I’m not mad, just realistic… kind of a “what the fuck? did that really happen? well, okay then…” thing goin’ on.
I really appreciate the feedback, thanksss.
I do [when pushed away], and I just stand there, looking and blinking awhile before going away.
Much less open than when I was a kid, but I still try to be as open. I don’t think we can be though.
Freckin’ – kids do it all much simpler and straightforward, so much less complication. What is it, pride?
On the rest, I think Hell Yeah. seeing how much you can take – sometimes. Pushing away so not to get hurt yourself – hell yeah that’s happened to me clearly, and I’ve seen me do it too.
Still and all, sometimes you can’t do much but walk away anyway.
Shit I like this post.
I used to think it much easier to cut my ties and burn bridges (and any other euphemism you can muster) but now I’m realising it takes much more emotional strength to forgive when someone very close hurts you in a way you never thought possible. It takes a long time, but when it’s a relationship that you just can’t fathom losing, it’s worth all the shit in between.
Having said that, I don’t tolerate repetitive hurtful bullshit, and am quick to tell someone exactly where they can go when I’m fed up. Good luck…
~ S
when someone pushes me away, I eventually go.
but I ruin whatever was between us first, with my anger and hurt at being pushed away, especially if I’m being pushed in that “oh I’m not really letting you go” sort of way.
So sorry.
Then he’s an idiot I see.