April 15, 2007

• Fall

  I look around the room and realize
  there’s no one looking in my eyes
  to see anything– how far I have to fall

  inside my head the voice appears
  the one I’ve heard for all these years
  the one that tells me now it’s time to go

  sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down
  on the porch or in the town
  and now I’ve learned to listen without thought

  you could do in the kitchen
  you could do it in the hall
  you could do it with a razor
  or a rope high on the wall
  you could do it with a toaster
  drop it in in the running bath
  but then the voice would have the final laugh

  so I gave up trying not to listen
  or then I’d never know the reason
  why my head has plans that aren’t mine

  I’ve talked to the professionals
  had midnight girl confessionals
  we’ve come to the conclusion that I’m sane

  but still in moments by myself
  even when there’s someone else
  these thoughts I have come back to torture me

  still I’m looking all around me
  and I’m aw’flly glad I found me
  cos I know that I will never do the deed

  it’s just cold here all alone
  no one’s ringing up my phone
  cos they just don’t know how I far I have to fall

  • 1:15 am
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