pain so exquisite
chilled blood shaking me
interminable

go and stop the clocks
someone cover the mirrors
listen, the bell tolls
a love that has turned to hate
must be buried like the dead

A woman of uneasy virtue
taking her chances when she can
sits on the edge of the bed
explaining her scars to another stupid man
who will never understand
–Syd Straw

I reach a point periodically when it’s just too difficult to stay open emotionally. it’s like the cat sitting at the slider looking like it wants in but you stand there and it just looks at you. then you shut the door and it claws at the screen… open the door again and it just looks at you. god. fine, just stay out. and I should want another cat?

Liz Greene is clearly brilliant. she is also crisply hilarious:

“As we are dealing with the theme of Mars today we can be a good deal more aggressive. Howard and I were talking yesterday evening about the exercizes in guided imagery for Venus which he has been giving you and we were trying to think of something suitable which might help to crystalize the meaning of Mars. We decided that you could close your eyes, get an image of your Mars sign, and then punch the person sitting next to you.”

feel free to participate.

running incessantly through my head…

leaving footprints in my brain jello.

this is my favorite song from the album:

but I find it amusing (because often people’s misconceptions are amusing)
that in this small town (The Snatch), when I am out with the man we are often not seen as a couple.

one person accused me of dating a married man. he has never been married. but furthermore, there are plenty of people who think one of us is gay. depending on who you’re talking to it could be either him or me. I don’t think I’m misunderstanding anything here– it’s pretty clear and I’ve heard rumors.

I don’t figure it’s anyone’s business, and it’s not like they’re asking me anyway. we’re treated rather well and I get the feeling people like thinking they’re being inclusive of us.

I’m just glad I stopped getting stern looks for cheating on Fodon. I’m totally serious.

what are the sort of things you say aloud to yourself when all alone?