Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.


Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.


Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.


Then it is only kindness that makes any sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out in the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
–Naomi Shihab Nye

I have no rationale for this. I just wanted to. I didn’t know Grace Kelly sang. I used to love the road movies when I was a kid. I had a big crush on Bob Hope in those films. I remember watching Godzilla films and being really scared when I saw The Fly on tv. “help me, help me!” I wanted an ez-bake oven and saved McDonald’s boxes to pretend fast food restaurant at home. I also watched a lot of Soul Train. a lot.

I don’t remember how I happened on this link but it gave me some much needed coffee-snarfing guffaws, particularly the last three entries on this page:

Bad Baby Names

I’ve always had a fascination with naming things and names in general.

I wanted to name BabyJane “Paladin” if she was a boy. nobody was down with that, obvs. “have gun will travel reads the card of a man” what’s not to love? I know, I know. hormones man.

my friend Barrett visited. the girls practiced their piano without being asked and were treated to a performance in return. some friends can be away for ages and feel just as familiar re-met. life’s funny.

if this doesn’t make you smile you might consider going back to bed and starting over fresh tomorrow.

She opened the oven door and the burst of heat curled her eyelashes. Bending slightly backward she warmed her hands over the expanding warmth and sighed with pure pleasure. His name jumped to her mind and she thought, “no.”

She wouldn’t be dreaming him up any longer. It was time to put him to rest, to dream him back down. It was the same process in reverse, a sad completion. Each time she dreamed someone up she hoped it would be the last time. Nothing could be more simple: each moment of pleasure, each blush of emotion, she’d think his name, envision his ideal presence, until fully formed it was realized not just in her mind but his as well.

Imagine what is felt, to see oneself whole in perfection behind the eyes of another. You would think it would make the owner of the eyes powerful, but it does not. It makes one a slave.

wherein I steal the format of the Eef Barzelay interview by Globecat…

why not:

2. Favorite board game?

scrabble

3. Favorite key to write in?

I don’t write music, although I know theory/notation.

8. Favorite author?/Favorite book?

John Irving or Sheri S. Tepper or Edgar Rice Burroughs/Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

11. Favorite music video?

23. Favorite natural oddity?

latte foam

24. Favorite historical time period?

the heyday of ancient Rome. wouldn’t want to live in it, tho.

25. Favorite historical figure?

Winston Churchill? Frida Kahlo?

29. Who do you wish more people were listening to?

Elsa. ::smirk:: musically– Phantom Oscillator

35. What’s the best place you’ve randomly discovered while on tour?

The Izaak Walton Inn in Essex, Montana

39. What’s something you could probably beat anyone you know at?

self delusion? princessyness? probably something sexual.

44. Something you’ve heard, know is false, but wish were true with all your heart?

“a kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.” L.A. Story

50. What’s your religious tradition or background?

when I was little my parents were into Transcendental Mediation. they used to make me meditate. now they’re Lutherans. I was baptised, full immersion, at ten in the Entiat Federated Church.

57. Most rock star thing you’ve ever done?

Danced on the table at a tavern on my 22nd birthday. I was wearing a lycra dress, visible garters and stockings and heels. the band started playing happy birthday but stopped and asked (into the microphone) “wait, where’d she go?” I could hear them while I was puking in the ladies’.

62. Your favorite song that you’ve done so far?

I sang The Star Spangled Banner at graduation. but I think my favorite is: Wild Is The Wind (ala Nina Simone) or the version of Clem Snide’s “You’re Not as Weird as You’d Like Me to Think” that I do in the shower.

65. Ever see yourself penning the score/soundtrack to a TV show or film?

not so much. altho I can see myself buying one on itunes. I want the Firefly/Serenity music.

70. What is a personal belief you hold that you would fight for to the death?

the toilet paper rolls AWAY from the wall.

76. Dream collaboration?

krispy kremes AND cheeseburgers.

79. Best concert you’ve ever been to?

Josh Ritter. I went all by myself, The Showbox, a few years ago.

84. Most disappointing concert you ever attended?

well, I saw Springsteen in the late 80s– he was great but my friend Nan was going to ditch me if I didn’t leave with her. we were in a city hours from home so I didn’t have a lot of choice. I think I got to hear four songs. and he did born to run as a ballad. boo.

86. With Radiohead’s In Rainbows release and Nine Inch Nails doing boffo business with his online releases, do you see yourself ever doing some alterative kind of release for any of your future projects?

uh, this doesn’t really apply to me but I’m going to go with– things are economically weird. everyone’s going to have to come up with unique ways of marketing themselves.
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“but motherfucker, nobody kills the rooster.”