February 3, 2003
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Jeffrey
Bill Cosby has this monologue where he talks about an obnoxious toddler on an airplane, running all over the place…”my name is Jeffrey, I fo yeahs ol!” then Jeffrey falls asleep just as the plane is touching down and the passengers take great pleasure in loudly telling Jeffrey goodye.
we were at a couple of furniture stores today…looking at sofas and chairs. I know it’s boring but DAMN, the toddler was completely out of control the WHOLE TIME. she was running, climbing, running, laughing…did I mention she was running? DAG, I am tired. anyway, we finally transacted and managed to contort her little body into the carseat (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) before we COMPLETELY lost our minds and snatched each other bald.
earlier, when we were still in the bribery stage, which doesn’t work, don’t bother, we told her we’d take her to greazy macs for dinner. so there we are in the drive-thru, five minutes in the car and she is FALLING ASLEEP.
we mature grow’d ups took GREAT pleasure in turning around and saying, “GOODBYE JEFFREY” “JEFFREY!!” “JEFFREY JEFFREY JEFFREY!!” as she’d jerk and her little eyelids would pop open. we were giggling like loons and DAMN if that didn’t feel good.
Comments (26)
You’re doing better than I do! Between the running around or the temper tantrums, it’s gotten to the point we don’t go anywhere. I mean anywhere! A trip to the grocery store is an outing. Sigh. I’ll be a shut in by the time he’s three.
Oh maaaan, have I been there! Kneeing Kid 1 or Kid 2 in the groin as I buckle the carseat over their flailing, screaming body; incredibly thankful that there IS a legal form of complete imobilization out there………..sheesh.
LOL! I’ve been there and done that. Revenge.
Oh, BTW, Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me are song lyrics. The authors are, Sy Miller & Bill Jackson.
revenge on toddlers is just as sweet, ain’t it?
I was just doing that the other night to my girl!
You are a woman after my own heart.
it’s these moments that remind me why I wanted to become a mother.
ROFL! I remember that Cosby monolouge, my God is it true! We’ve had moments like that too! Oh, by sharing my elf…I’m assuming you mean Dobby. You can have him straight out-he likes mismatched socks:)
-M
I lived overseas for a while and I have little brothers and sisters who were under one, two and six at the time. We were the noisey family on the plane. It’s so hard to keep them still as they want to run everywhere and touch everything.
After the first 12 hour flight together my parents decided that it was too crowded and from then on they flew business class and all the kids flew economy. My older brother and I got some weird looks!
bwahahaha that’s a great cosby bit, I love it.
hee hee I think being evil keeps one sane
har har, the thrill of wreaking sweet sweet revenge on them that you birthed is rivaled only by watching the universe do it for you (“knock it off or you’ll get hur-” SMACK! goes the head into something unyielding.) ba ha ha ha.
You evil evil woman..
yes, well, since we’re no longer allowed to beat them, tormenting them psychologically is all that’s left to us.
have i mentioned that i looooove you?
Aww cute story!
Btw, if Sealy doesn’t wanna sniff your pits, can I?
If Jeffrey had been on my flight he’d have been riding in one of the luggage compartments. I *loathe* parents who bring their kids public places and then can’t control them. I know it’s hard to be stuck at home or pay for a babysitter, but damn, you wanted the little monsters! The rest of us shouldn’t have to suffer.
Wow, I was just thinking how bad my toddler was the other day at the Gap. I think we should be allowed to leave them in the car when it is not too hot, she likes it there! he he! Kidding, of course!
hmmm…well, the problem is that you can’t actually CONTROL anyone other than yourself. my other children never “chose” to do the things my youngest does. I put A LOT of effort into finding and implementing behavioral techniques to ameliorate the natural behavior of young energetic/tired/hungry people. I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that people won’t take their children out in public when they’re less than model citizens.
what exactly would people have us do? beat our children? bribe them? behavioral studies prove these techniques not only do not acheive the desired result, but that they DO create neurosis.
bleah.
I reread and see that you think we should stay home. well, I’m not going to.
hmph, you should stay home. i know all about the trouble you can cause. (paracetamol said he lliked it, but i dunno… you start feeding alcohol to goats and you really can’t predict what’ll happen.)
can i really have your motorcycle jacket? vroom.
done! (if I can find it in the mess…)
I gotta say, I’m not getting inspired to have kids here. But luckily you make me laugh
snicker.
WHEN THE SPORKS TaKE OVER THe WORLd The BiLL CosBys And JEFFys WILL diE In the SPORK HOLOCAUST!
hmmmmm…spork spam.
I adore you!
Oh you are so my kinda girl, LOL!!! I remember those trials from nannying ~ and please, bear in mind that the mums I worked for would let their kids get away with anything, so you could guarantee that the second I proposed anything outrageous that the child didn’t want to do (you know, the really terrible, horrible, no good things like baths) I’d get at least three verses of, “But I don’t wanna!” accompanied by the usual chorus of, “Mummy doesn’t make me!” If we were in public, I’d usually be treated to an extra refrain of, “I want my mummyyyyy, stop it you bad woman!” which had the added bonus of making me look like a child molester as I committed the ultimate sin of, I don’t know, refusing the child a chocolate bar or something.
On the other hand, I was probably fifty times worse when I was a kid ~ my parents took us on a holiday to Guernsey when I was about five, and on the ferry on the way over, the channel was pretty rough. Apparently everyone else was trying to keep their lunch down, and I ran the whole way. As the ferry pitched down, I ran from stern to bow. As the ferry pitched up, I ran from bow to stern. Mum told me a few years ago that the only reason my brother and I survived our childhoods is because we made her laugh so much
Hey wow, I left a whole little blog here.. sorry!!!