June 27, 2003
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I’m ramblin’ ramblin’ ramblin’ ramblin’ ramblin’ ramblin…
we were flying solo today…it’s unusual…the man generally works from home, and can I just say: what’s in it for me? I mean, dayum, he’s HERE but I can’t duck out and leave the kids because he’s Working (say that in a long drawn out, condescending tone…). so anyways, it’s good times, because not only is he out for the day, but the evening as well. you know what that means don’t you…bartender, happy meals all around!
we went out to the smoke shop and hung around until the limpets were positively BRUTALLY whinging, about two hours, which must be a record. the cigar store is like another world, fairy town or some such thing…it takes a while to come down. driving down the road with the windows open, everything but the girl playing, and joy streaming like motherfucking sunshine…what does it take to snap back to reality…the bickersons in the jumpseats. they can’t contain it for one more minute. it’s not like I can even HEAR what they’re wailing about, just the general sentiment.
I’m frequently racking my vocal chords with the bizarre epithet:
STOP. SCREAAAAAAAAMING!
I should feel guilty…maybe I’m broken, but I don’t. maybe I SHOULD have grown up before having children, but it’s never too late. I intend to work on it tomorrow, so why feel guilty today?
in about 36 hours, about 60 people are coming to my house. I should prolly scrub the toilets or sumpin.
I saw Gwen Stefani (in some magazine) wearing my underwear, the underwear I’ve been wearing for the last 14 years. I’ve decided not to care. (editor’s note: she was not wearing MY underwear, per se, not the ones from MY DRAWER…and I haven’t been wearing the SAME PAIR for 14 years).
the new family practice doctor is gorgeous and young…I will be scheduling my annual shmere with the pa this year.
can I just say that I am ever so thankfull that I am younger than Demi Moore? my fantasy life stays just as rich as ever…and NO, Ashton Kutcher does NOT do it for me. I don’t know, the SCRUTINY just bugs me, that and my own ageism, which sucks. why do I even know this shit? apparently I’ve been spending too much time in supermarket lines. I should already know that since babyjane managed to slip three chapsticks and a pack of rollo’s into the goods at freddie’s.
I have spoken.
Comments (16)
why do they call it a pair of underwear when it’s just one?
No shit YOU’VE SPOKEN! If Steve Martin is coming to your house, then *I’m* wearing your underwear…
60 people? What the hell did you do?!?
i gave birth to two kids in the month of june…it’s unforgivable.
A day in the life . . .
sixty? do you have valium for your vodka? oh, but of course you do.
I’d go somewhere else when the 60 arrive….
wow, two kids in the month of june… i thought only fruitflies could gestate that fast. good work, yo.
You write like no one else at all
Re your comment on my site. The kid’s father has him at weekends. The last two he wanted me to do various things so he could go to parties. Rather than ask politely he just uses his limited repertoire of 4 letter words to tell me what he thinks of me and threatens me if I won’t do what he wants. I was in tears after one sentence. My kid asked his father why he did this and he told my son I have a filthy attitude and need putting in my place! I couldn’t stand 5 mins. with this man and my son who desperately wants him to come is frightened that a) I won’t be able to handle it and b) that his father would say he was too busy anyway.
Don’t know what to do so I’m soliciting advice.
I bet you look better in your underwear than Gwen does.
How did she get your underwair? She must be a preverted theif!
ram . . . . . . . BLIN!
i’d change underwear if i were you.
yep I am so coming to live with you….
60?!? for two kids? Goddamn. Yer a good mommy.
I am ONE WILD AND CRAZY MOMMY! emphasis on the CRAZY part…
Ha! I needed a blog when I had small kids. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone off the deep end. It’s nice to be younger than Demi Moore, especially if you’re male. It means you have a chance.