January 17, 2004
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Rantzilla:
both the girls are sick, lung/sinus related crap.
I’m supposed to visit my grandmother today and tomorrow, yet I don’t want to drag them, nor expose everyone their to their shit.
as an added bonus, I got to lay awake most of the night, calming and cuddling, rocking and fetching for said sickies. I got up at 6am and didn’t get a moment to myself until 10. it’s fine, you know, just irritating.
here’s the real rant part. I’m so pissed at the ex for tossing me away because he thought he did all the work and that I’m a crappy person. know why? because I’ve found that since I moved out, I have to do LESS than I ever did. even though I have no income other than the grocery money, I’m LESS stressed out about finances than I was. even though I’m still not “getting any,” I’m LESS frustrated about it than I was, and more satisfied with my relationship with Russell, my shower massager, than ever before.
I’m pissed that my kids are so stressed out by the divorce (as are all kids in the situation…goes with the territory) that they’re getting sick, and are extra needy. not pissed because I have to deal with it, which I am entitled to be, but pissed because THE KIDS shouldn’t have to deal with this. their dad SUCKS, though I don’t say it where they can hear it. they deserve better treatment. so did I when my dad sucked.
yeah, we’ll get through it, of course we will, and ranting helps releave my stress.
fuck him not believing my grandmother is dying. fuck him thinking I’m doing somebody weird who shouldn’t be around the kids (what the fuck?). fuck him deciding when and how he can see the kids…bringing them back two days early because they’re bored, but then needing to see them when it’s NOT convenient for me. of course I want them anytime I can have them, but their dad bringing them back early isn’t good for THEM. fuck him saying I’ve CHANGED, like I changed into some bloodsucking fiend, rather than GREW like a normal human being. fuck him being suspicious about the money I’m spending, or not spending as the case may be. him trying to figure out how I’m putting one over on him. and fuck knowing that the longer I go showing how I can live on nothing, the less he will be able to get away with giving me in the long run.
in fact, fuck him with a big splintery stick, dammit.
plah to bad husbands. bad DELUSIONAL ex-husbands.
Comments (27)
Plah-men! Can I get a witness.
You are doing very very well. I hope you know that.
500,000 props to you girlfriend!
Especially for not badmouthing him to the kids. My hubby’s 36 and can still remember all the shit his mother used to say about his father, and he absolutely hated her for doing that.
It’s funny how they think we do nothing until we’re gone. My daughter’s father found that out when I left him…
Does he think that just because you’re single that your kids best interests are suddely a non-issue????
What a rat bastard…
Rant on girlfriend!!!!!
-M
unfortunately, both my parents had shit to say about each other after they separated. i still remember that (although granted, i was older than your kids). it’s a really good thing you’re doing, taking the heat so it’ll be easier on them. a really good thing.
i’m still sorry that you have to take the heat. maybe kitty will bring back some really exotic virus from egypt that she can spread to him. she’d do it for you. she’s generous like that.
yeah, fuck him with a big sharp splintery stick. we still on for tonite?
YAY!! You just said Ex Husband.. Better a delusional ex, that a delusional husband.
I am living with Delusional. I prefer evil spawn though.
I just keep typing long strings of very bad words, then erasing them. I hate what a fuckwit he’s being and hope his dick drops off, let’s just leave it at that.
I’m sorry the girls are sick, sweetie.
You have every right to be pissed and raging, and you’re still doing the right thing by your kids, and that in itself is amazing. Keep truckin’, love.
When my parents split up, I lived with my dad and visited my mother and siblings about two or three times a year. Each time, I’d hear something from “her side,” and I’d come home to hear “his side.” I was too young for that bullshit, even as a teen, and so I think you’re doing very well not to involve the kids in your disputes.
Nice goin’ with the finances, too. Maybe the thing to do is “waste” money in a coffee can somewhere and cry hardship anyway. Sounds bad, but would it be just? Perrrrrhaps.
I admire you so much for all this.
and especially for naming your shower massager. I’m kidding…
I’m sorry to hear ’bout your sick little angels hon. They’re in good hand though, to be sure. If I could I’d offer you some cuddling, rocking and fetching (with or without pants…depending on what Russell has to say about it). And personally, I’m glad that the ex ‘tossed you’ because it frees you from having to put up wth his shit 24/7…I know he’s still a bother as he’s involved in the lives of you & yours yet…but nothing is perfect. Well…until we get the targeting/aiming system perfected for the Lightning Control System that is….but that’s still all very hush hush…so shhh.
And remember hon…boys have cooties. I read that somewhere recently. On the Internet even. And if its on the net then you know it’s gotta be true.
Sending you my extra love & french fries,
Timothy
The best revenge is living well. As you say, you are growing like a normal human being. Being pissed off and being able to acknowledge it. Much respek to you!
i need to clone you a real man…like jeff goldblum.
Clone Jeff Goldblum, aaahaaahaahahaaaare you insane?!?!?!
Omigod. He sounds just like the muther fucker I’m married to. *Begins singing Dixie Chicks song*
Earls got to go …
awwww my love, what a dickhole
just move out here and i’ll be your sugar mama, mmmmkay?
i am so proud of you, dudess; this is an incredible blog…
big squishy hugs to you. Well for what it is worth I am so fantastically proud of you. You are amazing and fantastic and he is just a delusional fuckwad.
Just pray that he gets spirital growth…somebody did that to me once and I had the worst shitty luck
He deserves a Twat of the Year award. You deserve sainthood for your decorum. And a lot of hugs. You’re the best!
wonder mom you are
unbelieveably strong you are..
you are awesome…
I gather strength from reading you… i know you may not feel that way.. but you just are so.. so normal.
yeah. i echo what people have already said. you taking this kind of heat so your children don’t feel it, is a wonderful thing to do for them. i hope you can find something wonderful to do for you.
i’ll drink to that…
you used the f-bomb enough times that i was right along with you towards the end…yeah, fuck ‘em!
it’s a good day for that attitude…
I’m shaking my head because I can’t understand why he would not believe that your grandmother is dying. How weird is that!
Lara, I’m with previous commentors who suggested getting a GOOD lawyer. Then all this bullshit about visitation and money would be a moot point.
jumping up and down shaking fists….
You go!! I agree about the wasting the money away in a coffee can somewhere’s…at least so you and the kids can have some extra’s sometimes.
I’m so sorry that he is being such a inhuman dick head. Fucking psycho.
Sorry to hear the girls are sick. I do hope they recover quickly.
he’s a POOP-HEAD! ;-
YAY RANTZ!
You rock my world, you know that?? I think as long as your kids know how much you love them and make sure they know it’s not their fault, they’ll turn out okay.