January 25, 2004

  • I miss myself. 
    I hate being in crisis mode.  don’t misunderstand, I operate extremely well in crisis mode, but it doesn’t feel real.


    so anyway, here’s where I stayed last sunday night:



    that’s what available credit is for, right?
    it was a heartbreaking moment in my life…first time back in town to deliver the kids to the ex…last time to be inside the house I thought I’d live in indefinitely.  so, you know, I didn’t exactly want to spend the evening alone staring at a concrete block wall at the travellodge.


    it made all the difference…



    that was exactly my room.  I took two jacuzzi baths with salts, the patio door open, a breeze blowing, and the gas fire blazing.  it was lovely.


    I had a four star dinner in the dining room, read my book, flirted with the waiters.


    you know what, I’m not a wastrel, but I like to do nice things.  I like to walk along the water, that’s free.  I like to walk in the woods…that’s free.  still, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking to do things that cost either.


    it was a welcome respite.  I felt like a big girl again.

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