I think my current favorite word must be “fucktard.”  it just covers it all on so many levels.  is that a kitty/rache/mudban/dnw word?  fuckwit is an all time classic, but it just doesn’t cover the socially stilted power of emotion that incorporating ‘tard’ produces.

for some reason that reminds me of the movie title princess lisa came up with a few years back… it still makes me snork…  crouching tiger, preening fuckwit.

I got up eaaaaaaarly, took a shower, put on clothing, in anticipation of going out to brekkie with my mother and stepsister Colin (in town for a limited time only) but it is an hour and a half later and no fern call.  you know how when you get up way too early it HURTs?  it hurts.  I was having bad dreams though, so I guess it’s just as well that I got up.  the last one involved riding in a car with my dad and sis, out of control on an icy hill and crashing into a house.  I was very worried about the people inside.

RANDOM MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

just so’s everyone knows… I have broadband and so sometimes msn signs me on spontaneously even when I’m not at the computer.  SO, if you see me come on and I don’t respond to your messages, I’m not ignoring you:  I’m not THERE.

I love the names of the people on my list (the names change all the time):
buy intensely uncute pets like cobras and ferrets.  train them to go straight for the fucking eyes at the slightest provocation says, “hola!”; and trauma and burn victim says, “lar bunny!”

fucking pluto…

Erykah Badu… Apple Tree

It was a stormy night
you know the kind where the lightning strike
and I was hangin’ out wit some of my “artsy” friends
ooh wee ooh wee oooh
The night was long the night went on
people coolin’ out until the break of dawn
incense was burnin’ so I’m feelin right — ah’ight

See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don’t go ’round trying to be what I’m not
I don’t waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin’ me cause I can’t please you
and that’s why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

And if you don’t want to be down with me
You don’t want to pick from my appletree
And if you don’t want to be down with me
Then you don’t want to pick from my appletree
And if you don’t want to be down with me
Then you don’t want to pick from my appletree
And if you don’t want to be down with me
You just don’t want to be down

I have a home
and I take it everywhere I go
Cause I’m planting seeds
so I reaps What I sow — ya know
Oh on & on & on & on
my cipher keeps movin’ like a rollin’ stone
I can’t control the soul flowin’ in me
ooh wee

Oh my my my
Oh my my my
Oh my my my ahh
Oh my my my my my my my
Ohh
I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don’t walk around trying to be what I’m not
I don’t waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin’ me cause I can’t please you
and that’s why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

And if you don’t want to be down with me
You don’t want to pick from my appletree
And if you don’t want to be down with me
You dum dum diddy
And if you don’t want to be down with me
You don’t want to pick from my appletree
And if you don’t want to be down with me
You just don’t want to be down
You just don’t want to be down
Ohh you just don’t want to be down
Down, down, down
You just don’t want to be down
Ohh
You just don’t want to be down
no oh no
You just don’t want to be down
no no no
You just don’t want to be down

the powerboat on the river was high fun…  there was kneeboarding and some big round raft thing.  we had dinner on the river and beached the boat to watch the forest fire and the few apparent stars… oh and get swooped by bats.

so tommorrow I take a ferry ride, stay in a hotel, take a ferry back, and stay a night on my dad’s sailboat.  all by myself.  and that.  is.  okay.  really really.

love to all… mandrake, if you’re up to a phone call… well, I guess you’ll let me know.  if not, you can tell me that too. 

CRANBERRIES LYRICS

“Dreams”

Oh, my life is changing everyday,

In every possible way.
And oh, my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems,
Never quite as it seems.

I know I’ve felt like this before, but now I’m feeling it even more,
Because it came from you.
And then I open up and see the person falling here is me,
A different way to be.

Ah, la da ah…
La…

I want more imposible to ignore,
Imposible to ignore.
And they’ll come true, impossible not to do,
Impossible not to do.

And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don’t hurt me.
You’re what I couldn’t find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You’re everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It’s never quite as it seems,
‘Cause you’re a dream to me,
Dream to me.

Ah, da, da da da, da, la…

this article has helped me IMMEASURABLY today…
perhaps you would find it interesting as well:
lessons_of_the outer planets

  (Neptune)

I went to the gym to do the treadmill today.  I was the only one there for the first half hour, then just one free-weight lifter who was behind me so I couln’t see him anyway.

normally I do a half hour, sometimes 40 minutes if I’m ambitious.  today I felt so good that I stayed on for 50.  not only THAT, but I didn’t have to grab onto the bars AT ALL…  not even when I was drinking out of the water bottle!  normally all it takes is a little wobble or change in orientation and I get off kilter and need to hang on.  and the lower back pain that has plagued me since age 17?  GONE today.  it’s a miracle!  I’m WELL!

happy days.  mostly.

**update**  I’ve been invited out on a boat!

drowning_not_waving

it doesn’t appear that you can see the colors, and I can’t get a straight on shot (hall).  these are the broad strokes.  definition later…

(it’s about four feet tall)

my speakers rock, yo…

outside…

inside…

I supposedly have plans, but they seem secondary to getting a little of that cabo wabo in me and having a go at the wall, kwim?

and the paintbrushes have already drawn first blood.  I stabbed myself in the thumb with a sharp knife trying to get the price tags off.  apparently they like their price tags, so I apologized and sacrificed a live chicken.

now we begin.

mighty propz to the illustrious vm for her inspiration, good taste, elan, and unparallelled quality of soul!

rerun alert:

HE DROOLED FOR YOUR SINS!

Oh Mullet, my Mullet!

Naru Chan, aka the new DrEvil thinks he knows the 80′s, but he don’t know SHITE.  eat my eighties, thompson twin, dust motherfucker… (in a good way…)!

THE camping trip… after the europe trip.     caption:  look! an ashtray!  oooooo, belching…

tiny teenage boobies!!

taken the day after graduation… I awoke with my braces (on my lower teeth) stuck to the carpet of the cabin that would eventually become fp’s parents’ vacation place.  yikes.  we bought those sunglasses at the “cove” that morning.  dad now has a two master.