September 10, 2004
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so, according to Morgane (who I secretly think of as “Morgania” because all ‘ane’ names get a ‘ya’ added to them…) I should go with my Porn Name. ah, but which one to choose…
Moonpie Montview
Squeeky Jefferson
Ria Fancher
Zuki Willis
Cleo Pioneer
Tabby Dexter
Snowblind Methow
Emma Washington (yes, I named my daughter after a cat… and a very ill tempered one at that)
Sam Clements
yeah, well… hmmm.
as it is, I believe I will actually be going with my mother’s maiden name and my dad’s mother’s maiden name. score one for the home team.
I just drove back from dropping off the kids. I stopped at a place called “Haney Meadows” which always reminds me of my darling friend, Hane. “Hane you ignorant slut!” it occurred to me that it might be a timely opportunity to releave myself, but as I tramped into the brush I was surprised to find stinging nettles all around. now, last summer I had the misfortune to hike through about a mile of nettles in my shorts. never having seen nettles before I didn’t really know what exactly I was doing. I surely do now. so I sucked it up and drove the rest of the way home.
so herein lies the lesson: what may seem at the time like a horrible mistake, legs full of nettle stings, may actually be a blessing… it may save you from such a malady on your hooha and hiney. here ends the gospel. let us pray…
Comments (16)
Yeah, wise choice. There’s no easy way to take a leak in nettles if you insist on getting down there with them. We can learn.
I have taken the gospel in and will now live by it!
there’s something hot about a porn name with “squeeky” in it…and moonpie, can’t ignore that one, either…
the porn name generator scheme i was familiar with was to use your middle name, then the street you grew up on…so, that’d make me Paul Weant (pronounced ‘went’)…
do i even need to make the joke at this point?
Zuki Willis has a very nice ring to it.
I got into some stinging nettles once…on my hand, while retrieving a ball during a game of catch. Unfortunately, I didn’t notice/it didn’t hurt til later, so to this day, I don’t actually know what the bastard plant looks like.
Ah.. life’s little lessons…. Sort of like the first time you eat really hot wings and then go to take a weewee…. I sure remember what those damn hot wings look like….
I’m still voting for Regina Phalangy … such a pretty name….
Snowblind Methow . . . isn’t he a bluesman?
ZUKI!
I like Cleo Pioneer the best.
that just reminded me of my brother taking a wee in poison oak, and getting it all over his tackle. poor guy.
Lady Percivalia Blakeney of Gor…
If not that, then howazbout, “My lovely friend Lara?”
I dunno ’bout Dev’s porn name recipe… mine would be, “Baxter Huron” which is so very very… un-porny.
Yeauch!
and just to be clear: there was not a mile of nettles in my shorts. once again I fall victim to the misplaced modifier.
See, and stupid me thought stinging nettles were some sort of insect.
I have learned something new today.
ouch, I think.
(I dare you) Squeaky Jefferson!…hmmmmmm
I wonder if you could claim something at Monticello if you used the last name Jefferson?
Love you too! Thanks so much!
-M
I think Haney Meadows would be a good name…Haney Nettle Meadows. Maybe you could go by Netty?
Nettles…ouch. I’m glad you didn’t get them on your bits.
Amen.
my eyeballs fell out.