September 29, 2004
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I am so achingly lonely
my feelings hurt
lotsa stuff hurts
I took some pills today
and I guess they’re working
I guess that’s good
I know I have lots of good friends
friends who by their actions
show me how much they love me
often that’s enough
why isn’t it always enough?
why are there some people I’ve loved
the very people who ought to know me best
why don’t they love me too?
they have the opportunity to see
into my very center
and they change their minds
they walk away
or they kick me
and walk away
I know I shouldn’t care
but it can’t always be just them, right?
I know we all have our flaws
I love other people with flaws
it just doesn’t seem that hard
why is it so hard?
I have friends
I don’t have a strong chest to lay my head on
a chest to sop up my tears
someone to say “there there”
and if for a time I do
if I show myself
they’re gone forever
when will I be loved?
does a person have to be strong
ALL the time?
to deserve love?
or am I just made all wrong?
Comments (24)
I remember having these moments in my life. I guess you need to keep an optimistic attitude. Never give up hope.
In the mean time you know you have friends on line who care about you.
honey-bun, you are not made all wrong. you just haven’t found the right people to fulfil those needs yet…
It’s the bad times that are going to make you appreciate the good times that are headed your way very soon….
I still have these moments, even with the friends and the family and the husband. I doubt that’s encouraging. I think it’s just a part of being human, being alive. or maybe it’s just us crazy fucks who feel this way. I dunno, I’ve never been any different.
I felt this way earlier this week, and then like that *poof* gone. and it took the littlest of silly things to get rid of that feeling.
you
*poof*
Oh Jesus. ((((satori)))) I’m so sorry.
*sigh*
strong all the time? f me…i’m not strong 1/5th of the damn time…heh!
hang in, kiddo, hang in
This? Heartfield
So sorry love. You are worthy just as you are. Absofuckinglutely you are.
I lurve you, baby. I wish I were there, because I’d let you cry on my shoulder, and I’d still love you anyway.
it’s because the vast majority of people fucking suck.
i’ve been feeling this way lately, for a while now actually. was even going to blog on a tangent of it.
i love you lady.
thats exactly why i started a garbage pail kids collection.
There, there Lara girl. You are loved. I just wish I could hug the stuffin’s outa ya until you knew just how much.
Timothy
<3 ::hugs::
Darling. I would hate to say ‘there, there’ to anyone, but if that’s what you need..
Cliche`s are annoyingly true, you know. You need to be your own comfort zone, babe, before you can lean on anyone else. At least that’s what I’ve come to realize.
Not a person, a woman. I’ve got a chest (cough) and a hug for you anytime, I’m sorry I’m not a better friend to provide it in person.
If I weren’t so far away, I’d let you cry & snot all over my shoulder, or chest if you preferred.
(((L)))
Lots of questions there, Ms. Cigara.
if you have the answer to any one of them, I’d be much abliged…
Hell, I’m wondering the same thing.
-M
I’m sorry you’re having these feelings, I wish I could answer those questions for you , for anyone…