October 12, 2004

• I’m not actually watching my Eyes on the Prize videos, but I am oh so glad I bought them when I did.  I spent about $150 over ten years ago, but they’re $300 now.  of course, I had even less money then, but it was really important to me.  I’d never seen ANYthing more moving in my life.  I think the series came out in ’87 or something and I never was able to get it out of my mind.

  
  

  for a long time, years, I went out of my way to read (almost exclusively) black writers and poets, and to catch up on african american literature that was before my time.  I collect biographies and autobiographies of african american men and women.

  
  

  anyway, that was an exceptionally wordy preface to a fairly uninteresting anecdote:  I went golfing today.  all alone, as I usually do.  I have a difficult time not overthinking my game so I often employ a mind device during my swing.  I repeat a phrase or mantra to clear my mind.  last time I think it was, “the ball that can be hit is not the eternal ball.”  it helps me relax and use body memory rather than “keep your head down… don’t break your wrist…” etc.

  
  

  so today, I kept singing, “well the one thing I did right, was the day I started to fight… keep your eyes on the prize, oh lord,” over and over again.  I realize how tacky it is to use a civil rights protest song for relaxation, but I couldn’t get it out of my head!  in fact, I sang it even when I was just pulling my clubs. 

  
  

  I made par twice and birdied once… although I have to admit to losing one ball in the rough and whiffing twice.  I had a great time.  I think I’ve made it through the woods and it’s fun being inside my head again.

  
  

  I used to ski in high school, and a little after, but not as much.  my dad taught me in the “go down.  if something gets in your way, turn” method.  I wouldn’t reccommend it.  still, I was able to figure it out and managed to get passably good at it… by singing all the way down:  JOY TO THE WORLD, ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS; JOY TO THE FISHES IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA, JOY TO YOU AND ME!

  
  

  so on the way home from the golf course I was thinking about how much I like golf… and sex… and kissing…  and figuring someday I’ll get to do all three.  and then I sang at the top of my lungs: 
  
  “Kiss Me” (sixpence none the richer)
  
  Kiss me out of the bearded barley
  Lightly, beside the green, green grass
  Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
  You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
  
  Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
  Lead me out on the moonlit floor
  Lift your open hand
  Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
  Silver moon’s sparkling
  So kiss me
  
  Kiss me down by the broken tree house
  Swing me upon its hanging tire
  Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
  We’ll take the trail marked on your father’s map
  
  Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
  Lead me out on the moonlit floor
  Lift your open hand
  Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
  Silver moon’s sparkling
  So kiss me
  

  
  

  when I can let my mind go, my body knows what to do.

  • 11:35 pm
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