November 15, 2004
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so late this last summer my friend Paula was out walking. it was dark and her neighborhood is fine but a little sketchy in places at night. she got this weird feeling which put her on edge. while Paula gets a little overwrought about things (once my mother had to call her and tell her that it was HIGHLY unlikely that she had gum cancer), she does watch a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns, honing her defense skills, so she just shrugged and kept walking.
then, she started to hear someone coming up on her, coming up quickly. as panic set in, she began to turn and glimpsed an eerily tall shadow moving steadily… then just as swiftly as it came up, it went by…
a man on a tall unicycle.
I nearly wet myself laughing when she told me this story. we laugh about it nearly every time we talk, as in:
Paula: people like us shouldn’t have guns around.
Me: no, that’s what I told David, and it really was true…
Paula: …more for their own protection
(laughing)
Me: cos now think how bad it would have been if you had a gun. imagine trying to explain why you shot a man on a unicycle.
(laughing our asses off)
Comments (27)
that is SO fucking good. i love that.
Thanks for that. I needed a hearty chuckle this evening.
not sure if i should comment here…last time i tried, xanga went down…
sorry ’bout that…ahem
If the unicycle guy had been armed, that would have been one hell of a drive-by shooting…
LOL! I would have made him fall and told him to ride only in the light, ASSHOLE
Would have made the papers though!
Well there’s something you don’t see every day…
“she does watch a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns, honing her defense skills”
hahah!
a disturbing new trend – packs of ganglymen on tall unicycles… film at 11…
my sadie’s eye sight got really bad and once she accused my cousin david with taking her pistol and replacing it with a toy gun. he said, “grandma, that’s your gun” and she said “no it’s not” and she pulled the trigger to find that it was not only real but loaded. she barely missed david’s head.
a man on a unicycle IS eerie. what are you talking about? it’s not a laughing matter. ha!
)
Let us have a moment of silence for what would have been a hilarious police report.
pbbhthahthahah.
there was an occasion, once, at about 5am, where if there had been a gun in my bedside table, i would have ended up putting a round through what turned out to be a hanging towel, right through the wall into my son’s room.
guns = nothing good, especially not in the hands of crazy paranoid people, w00t.
im being neglected again :/
that is hilarious… hehehe
you owe me a new keyboard
There is pepsi in it now…
thats funny! i mean it, really funny!
FUCK! What are the odds of that? A tall man on a unicycle…argh!
-M
I’m not a Yankee fan…
Jesus, how the fuck did I miss this story on my subscriptions list? That’s freaking hilarious. it would’ve been kind of great if she would’ve actually attacked the man on the unicycle. Hhahah
anyhow, man thanks for all the support and the nice things you’ve said recently.
oh and the 666 thing is creepy creepy creppy.
he he, a tall unicycle. all she’d really have to do is trip him and run away.
I like pie.
its amazing what we can whip up in our nervous heads!
You know that really isn’t funny! Haven’t you people heard of the notorious unicycle gang? She’s just lucky he was obviously separated from the rest of his evil cronies!! I shudder to think what could have happened! I wonder if he was their headless leader? Everyone should arm themselves, at once!! Better to shoot 1st and ask questions later!
I so want cowboy boots too, all about the shoes.
COME TO JO_CAMEL AND GET YOUR KICK IN THE HEAD 4/5 people who start reading my site become addicted after reading only one posT!
We shoot men on unicycles here on sight. Unicycles are just wrong.