December 30, 2004
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I am up from what it appears will not be my deathbed to participate in the Festivus annual Airing of the Grievances:
1. the fever returned last night after I tried to pick up the house that my band of hooligans trashed during my bedridden-ness. this is one of those days when you understand why parents are REQUIRED BY LAW to care for their children.
2. babyjane? why must you pull down all the curtains in the front room window? what the fuck is wrong with you? are you trying to climb them? I’ve never even seen it happen, and it boggles the mind.
3. dylan… hang. up. your. fucking. bathmat. AAAAUUUUGH!!
and point b: I AM NOT YOUR SERVANT!!
4. emma. stop crying. oh god please stop fucking crying!
5. cracked crispy fuckmonster: you cannot change your phone number and NOT tell me, you complete motherfucking jackass. please stop doing things that remind me how much I fucking hate you. it makes my skin crawl to think I procreated with you. (if anyone has any choice words, feel free to leave them in my comments as he STILL READS MY BLOG, the jackass)
6. hmm, I feel a lot better. I guess the majority of my problems stem from my messy house and the fact that I married a jackass… both of which can and have been handily remedied. so long motherfucker! you’ll never be happy since you blame all your problems on other people! I’m already happy! wonderously happy! BAHAHAHA! you suck!
yeah, I’m ten, so fucking what.
Comments (16)
HAHAHA
K, lemme get this one straight….
Your ex-husband changed his phone number without telling you.
He did not bother to think that he’s got a permanent tie to you courtesy of his sperm.
He occaisionally reads your blog.
bwahahaha, To HIM: tough shit sucker. Suck it up and do right by your kids.You made the choice, deal with it.
You think maybe BabyJane has theater in her blood? Curtains? Front room? All the world’s a stage . . .
Oh, that’s a whole new side of Rikki I hadn’t seen before. *smile*
Dear jackass ex-husband. See that REQUIRED BY LAW bit? Yeah, that means you. Grow up.
I’m wearing a mood ring. what does purple mean?
it means come sit on my face.
bahaha, ten year olds are fun, wanna ride bikes? after the face-sitting, i mean.
suck it, stupid ex-husband! or did you shoot your brains out along with your last ejaculation?
“cracked crispy fuckmonster” oh gawd thats fucking brilliant!!!! Sorry you have been ill my love hope your party is great fun! love love love to you and yours~ g
climbing up the curtains… seems like she has aspirations of becoming a cat someday.
sorry you’ve been sick. :-
We need smell-o-’Net, for I would fart in his general direction. And light the greenest green-scented candle for you.
it sounds like rache had way more fun being ten than I did
I’d fart his way too. In a second.
I have been saying #4 all night but instead of emma I say megan!
Oh yeah, MEN SUCK especially after you marry them and have kids. Are you reading this MAN? You suck….suck it man!
Hey scumbag ex-husband…..try being a grown up for a change instead of a self-centered asswipe monkey ass sucker.
So, can he legally change the number without teling you? I mean, if he’s got the kids, and you can’t reach him in an emergency, are there any legal ramifications? What woudl the judge say? What a butt.
Rache – you’re so funny.. shoot your brains out. Hehe.
Love you mama!
-j
Dear Ex-Husband aka Jackass Crispy Fuckmonster,
May you rot on the lust level of Dante’s Hell where you will never find pleasure, just be blown about by an insane tornado like wind, and suffering the brutal beating as you fly into the surrounding jagged rocks…
-M
…Yeah, Dante knew torture!
Let’s just say that you KNOW what I’ll do if I ever see the cracked crispy fuckmonster (brilliant, btw, must use that sometime soon)again…and if you don’t, just imagine something. It’ll prolly be pretty close to accurate. I bigpuffyheart you.
how did i miss this?
what a douchebag. DOUCHEBAG!!!